CA's wife #joke

27/06/15 8:18:10 am: Bhaskar Rama Murthy Kattamuru: A little story of a C.A.'s wife.

There was a C.A., who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife...
"When I die, I want you to
take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to
promise him, with all of her heart.

He died soon.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there, dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the obedient wife said:- "Wait just a moment!'
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

Then her friend said:- "Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied:- "Listen, I'm a wife; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"

"I sure did," said the loyal
wife. "I got all the money together, put it into my account, and wrote him a Cheque.... I put the Cheque in the casket. Now it is up to him to encash the Cheque. If he can cash it, then he can spend it."

Wife kiski thi ??
C.A. ki......!!
😜😂😂


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Super insults #niceJokes

26/06/15 8:44:09 pm: Bhaskar Rama Murthy Kattamuru: Super insults (2) :

Smart answer by a female...

On a flight, a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him...

'Nice perfume.....which one is it?...
I want to gift it to my wife..!!'

Lady
'Don't give her....some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her..!!'
😜😜😜

A letter from a teacher to a parent:

Dear Parent,
Kumar doesn't smell nice in class. Please try to bath him.

Parent's answer:
Dear Teacher, Kumar is not a rose, Dont smell him,Teach him......
😂😂😂
😝😝😝😝😝😝
..................................


Mother to Son:
Who is Tippu Sultan ?
Son : Don't know 😏
Mother : Sometime give attention to study also 👀
Son to Mother : Do you know Chinky Aunty ?
Mother : Don't know
Son: Sometimes give attention to Dad also
😝😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
..........................................


A cute excuse:
Teacher-Y r u late?
Student-Mom & dad were fighting.
Teacher-so what makes U late if dey were fighting?
Student-one shoe was in mom's hand and one in dad's..
😂😂😝😜

🎉💐🍻🎭🎷🌾🌾💃😃😜😜😜😂😂😂😂😂👌👌👌👍👍
👆Girl: wat's d price of galaxy grand??
Salesman: Rs.18,000/-
Girl: OMG
Girl: and iphone?? . .
Salesman: OMG + OMG + OMG
Girl: 😨😠😡
Salesman: 😆😝😂
-------------------------------------------------


Wife : I hate that beggar.
Husband : Why ?
Wife : Rascal, yesterday
I gave him food today he gave me a book
How to Cook !!! 😄😃😜😝
👌😂😜😃😄


Husband came home drunk. To avoid wife's scolding, he took a laptop & started working.

Wife: did u drink
Husband : no

Wife: Idiot then y u r typing on suitcase
😜😂😝🍻👍

Dont laugh alone. Pass it on 😂😂😂 to ur buddies...


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Six little stories #goodOnes

23/06/15 8:52:21 pm: Bhaskar Rama Murthy Kattamuru: 6 LITTLE🌱STORIES
-----:-:-:-:-:----


🌾
{ 1 }

ONCE, All villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella.
👇
That's
FAITH
-----------------

🌾
{ 2 }

WHEN You throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.
👇
That's
TRUST
------------------

🌾
{ 3 }

EVERY Night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next
Morning but still we set the alarms to wake up.
👇
That's
HOPE
-----------------

🌾
{ 4 }

WE Plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.

👇
That's
CONFIDENCE
-------------------

🌾
{ 5 }

WE See the world suffering.
But still we get Married.

👇
That's
LOVE.
--------------------

🌾
{6}

On an Old Man's shirt was written a cute sentence
'I Am Not 60 Years Old.., I Am Sweet 16 with 44 years Experience.'

👇
That's
ATTITUDE
------------
Do live your life like 6stories


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Nice message - don't worry keep smiling

23/06/15 7:33:52 pm: Srikant Kancherla: A joker told the audience a wonderful joke and all the people started laughing...

Joker repeated the same joke and only few people laughed..????

He again repeated the same joke but this time no one laughed...??????

Then he told these beautiful lines...;

" when you cannot laugh on the same joke again and again...
then why do you cry again and again on the same worry"

So enjoy your every moment of life..!!
Life is beautiful??????
Today is Charlie Chaplin's 125th birthday - a good day to recollect his 3 heart-touching statements:-

(1) Nothing permanent in this world, not even our troubles.

(2) I like walking in the rain, because nobody can see my tears.

(3) The most wasted day in life is the day in which we have not laughed.

Keep smiling and pass this message to everyone whom you want to see smiling.


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Why couples fight?

23/06/15 3:05:06 pm: Chaitanya Ramani Akka Son: WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!! 😂💕😂


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started....

*************************


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started....

***************************


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So, I took her to a petrol pump

And then the fight started....

***************************


My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.'

I replied, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'

And then the fight started....

***************************


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I've not been in a long time."

So I took her to the kitchen.

And then the fight started....

***************************


Dedicated to all married couples.. But don't send to all

I sent to my friend. He sent to his wife and then the fight started....
23/06/15 3:05:57 pm: Chaitanya Ramani Akka Son: No offense just ready and laugh nd forget...
23/06/15 3:06:04 pm: Chaitanya Ramani Akka Son: Just read...


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Prove that 2/10 is 2. #logic #joke

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6 little stories

22/06/15 4:50:24 pm: LVV Vidyasagar Bhimili Classmate: 6 LITTLE🌱STORIES
-----:-:-:-:-:----


🌾
{ 1 }

ONCE, All villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella.
👇
That's
FAITH
-----------------

🌾
{ 2 }

WHEN You throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.
👇
That's
TRUST
------------------

🌾
{ 3 }

EVERY Night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next Morning but still we set the alarms to wake up.
👇
That's
HOPE
-----------------

🌾
{ 4 }

WE Plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.

👇
That's
CONFIDENCE
-------------------

🌾
{ 5 }

WE See the world suffering.
But still we get Married.

👇
That's
LOVE.
--------------------

🌾
{6}

On an Old Man's shirt was written a cute sentence
'I Am Not 60 Years Old.., I Am Sweet 16 with 44. years Experience.'

👇
That's
ATTITUDE


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Yoga day - asanas image

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Nice message with lot of meaning

19/06/15 8:11:02 pm: Raju Vusirikala: Whenever u have time read this .
Spend a minute to read it till d end even if you have read it before....

A cruise ship met with an accident at sea, on the ship was a pair of couple, after having made their way to the lifeboat, they realized that there was only space for one person left.

At this moment, the man pushed the woman behind him and jumped onto the lifeboat himself.

The lady stood on the sinking ship and shouted one sentence to her husband.

The teacher stopped and asked, "What do you think she shouted?"

Most of the students excitedly answered, "I hate you! I was blind!"

Now, the teacher noticed a boy who was silent throughout, she got him to answer and he replied, "Teacher, I believe she would have shouted - Take care of our child!"

The teacher was surprised, asking "Have you heard this story before?"

The boy shook his head, "Nope, but that was what my mum told my dad before she died to disease".

The teacher lamented, "The answer is right".

The cruise sunk, the man went home and brought up their daughter single-handedly.

Many years later after the death of the man, their daughter found his diary while tidying his belongings.

It turns out that when parents went onto the cruise ship, the mother was already diagnosed with a terminal illness.
At the critical moment, the father rushed to the only chance of survival.

He wrote in his diary, "How I wished to sink to the bottom of the ocean with you, but for the sake of our daughter, I can only let you lie forever below the sea alone".

The story is finished, the class was silent.

The teacher knows that the student has understood the moral of the story, that of the good and the evil in the world, there are many complications behind them which are hard to understand.

Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge others without understanding them first.

Those who like to pay the bill, do so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship above money.

Those who take the initiative at work, do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.

Those who apologizes first after a fight, do so not because they are wrong but because they value the people around them.

Those who are willing to help you, do so not because they owe you any thing but because they see you as a true friend.

Those who often text you, do so not because they have nothing better to do but because you are in their heart.
One day, all of us will get separated from each other; we will miss our conversations of everything & nothing; the dreams that we had. Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare... One day our children will see our pictures and ask 'Who are these people?' And we will smile with invisible tears because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say: 'IT WAS THEM THAT I HAD THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE WITH'. Send this to all your friends that you will never forget. Put this on whatsapp of those who made you smile in any type of way. It might surprise you but look at how many will be sent back.


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Husband and wife jokes #good jokes

16/06/15 4:03:47 pm: ‪+91 99124 00401‬: A bus full of housewives going on a picnic ,
fell into a river ,
all died .
Each husband cried for a week ,
one husband continued for more than two weeks !!!
When asked that did he miss his wife so much ?
he replied miserably :
No
My wife
missed
the bus !!!
😜😝😋😛⛄😊
In heaven God told all husbands & wives to gather for a meeting!
He told the men to stand in two queues...
Those who are controlled by their wives & those who control their wives!

Only 1 man stood in d second Queue...

God said "So you control ur wife?"

Man: "R u CRAZY ???
My wife told me to stand here"😂😂😂...

Lol😂😂😂
A Junior in office dialled his boss's extension by mistake & said:
Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in 2 min ☕
Boss Shouted: Do u know whom u r talking 2? 😡
Jr : No!
Boss: I'm the BOSS 👺
Jr (in same tone): do u know whom u r talking to?
Boss: No!
Jr : THANK GOD (& disconnected) 😃😃😃

If Flipkart starts matrimonial services 👬, they will become the No.1 site in the world 🌎 because they have a 30 day return 💫policy no questions asked
😜😜😜😜😂😂
Killer.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔪🔪🔪
KEEP LAUGHING !
A Chinese man married an African woman and had a child. Two months later the child passed away.
At the funeral house, the African woman kept sobbing and saying: "I KNEW IT !!! I KNEW IT !!!"
A family member pulled her aside and asked:
"What did you know?" She replied: "That, Chinese products don't last long!!"

Dont laugh alone, share with others😂😂
16/06/15 4:03:48 pm: ‪+91 99124 00401‬: Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Kid: He became father only when I was born.
Logic!!👌😳

PS: This kid is from IIN! !😂😂😂
16/06/15 4:03:48 pm: ‪+91 99124 00401‬: What do you call a bee that comes from America?
.
.
.
.
.










USB

No claps please!😄😄



What do you call a lady who drinks only one tea in a day?
.
.
.
.
.
.













Jaswanti (Just 1 tea)!😀



One More ☝😁

Why don't people clap in Afghanistan?
.
.
.
.
.
.









Because of 'Tali-ban'!😀😀



Acha ek or ☝😁

What will you call "Burj Khalifa" after 80 years?












Bujurg Khalifa!😞😄😄



Acha bas ek or ☝😁

How do you ask your 'Massi' to take a dip in water?
















Diplomacy!😀😀
(Dip-lo-massi)



Ye wala last ☝😁

How do you say "she is calling a cab" in one word?
.
.
.
.
.






.
Vocabulary!😜😁
(vo-cab-bula-ry)



Ye wala ek dum last☝

Which Pakistani cricketer does not have a date of birth?














Umar Gul..


😝😝😜😜😆😆😂😂


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Creative image - see different faces up/down

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Kids video - boy trying to please girl #love

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Husband and wife jokes #jokes

13/06/15 9:57:03 pm: Chandu Battula: BOY on a date in a AUDI Q7 car 🚘--
I need to tell truth to you.. That I am already married. 😐

Girl: (hugs )..!
:
You scared me.. I thought the AUDI car is not yours..
😝
😂😂😂
------------------------

All Men are Brave,
Horror Movies don't Scare them....
But 5 Missed Calls from Wife... Surely does...
😜😎😋😂😄

--------------------------------
🚦What is Checkmate?

U tell ur wife I saw a lady, looked xctly like u"
&
wife asks "WAS SHE HOT..??"
U cnt say 'no'
U cnt say 'yes'
That is Checkmate.! 😋😜

-----------------------------
🚥The Men are very Kind & Women are very Selfish!
.
.
.
.
"PROOF"
:
Most Women Don't Like to Help Unknown Men😖

But All Men Are Ready anytime 2 Help Unknown Women.
😊☺😇

-----------------------------

🏄A Man Lost his Wife In Tsunami.........
One Drunk-Night .....while standing on the Seashore, waves touching on his feet....
he shouted to the Sea: 'No matter how many times your Waves Touch my Feet...... .
I'll Never take her back..... !! ......
Its your mistake..
DEAL WITH IT NOW..
😅😂😛
------------------------------

🎲A couple went to a wish well.
Santa bent down, threw a coin & made a wish.

Wife bent down a little more and fell into the well.

Santa shouted,
"Oh good..
It works!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
----------------------------

🍟Wife Rings Husband..

Husband : I am in office and very busy, wht abt u ?
Wife: Am in KFC, sitting behind your table.
And your kids r asking, who is that Aunty with dad..?

😡😝😝😆😁
---------------------------------

Successful marriage is based on 'GIVE & TAKE'.

Husband Gives Money, Gifts, Dresses
&
Wife Takes it.

Wife Gives Advices, Lectures, Tensions
&
Husband Takes it.
Enjoy Successful married Life.👍🎎
--------------------------------


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Janaganamana national anthem word by word meaning

13/06/15 12:42:02 pm: Manasa Vusirikala: Congratulation to all of us.Our national anthem "Jana Gana Mana... "is declared as the "BEST ANTHEM OF THE WORLD"by UNESCO. Just few minutes ago.

Kindly share this.
Very proud to be an INDIAN.
🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳👏👏👏👏👏👏👏😊😊😊😊😊😊😊🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🚩🌹🌹🌹
✨✨ Meaning of our National Anthem ✨✨
💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
🇮🇳 Please try to understand the meaning and pronounce it clearly.

Word by word meaning..

🎵Jana = People
🎵Gana = Group
🎵Mana = Mind
🎵Adhinayaka= Leader
🎵Jaya He = Victory
🎵Bharata = India
🎵Bhagya = Destiny
🎵Vidhata = Disposer
🎵Punjaba = Punjab
🎵Sindhu = Indus
🎵Gujarata = Gujarat
🎵Maratha = Marathi Maharashtra
🎵Dravida = South
🎵Utkala = Orissa
🎵Banga = Bengal
🎵Vindhya =Vindhyas
🎵Himachal =Himalay
🎵Yamuna = Yamuna
🎵Ganga = Ganges
🎵Uchchhala = Moving
🎵Jaladhi = Ocean
🎵Taranga = Waves
🎵Tava = Your
🎵Shubh =Auspicious
🎵Naame = name
🎵Jage = Awaken
🎵Tava = Your
🎵Shubha = Auspicious
🎵Aashisha = Blessings
🎵Maage = Ask
🎵Gaahe = Sing
🎵Tava = Your
🎵Jaya = Victory
🎵Gatha = Song
🎵Jana = People
🎵Gana = Group
🎵Mangala = Fortune
🎵Dayaka = Giver
🎵Jay He = Victory Be
🎵Bharata = India
🎵Bhagya = Destiny
🎵Vidhata = Dispenser
🌸Jay He, Jay He, Jay He, Jay Jay Jay Jay He = Victory, Victory, Victory, Victory Forever...

PLEASE SHARE IT AND LET ALL PEOPLE KNOW THE MEANING OF OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM..

JAI HIND🙏🙏


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Blind date joke #joke

11/06/15 8:31:46 pm: Shrutika Ashutosh A16 Orchids: I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night – ((

Turns out, There's an app for that.
It's called "Mom Are
You Ok". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.
If you like her, you ignore it.
If you want to cut short the date,
you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
It works every time.

So I knocked on the girl's door. Turns out I needn't have worried.
She was gorgeous!
I couldn't get over how attractive she was!!
Just as I was about to speak to her, her phone rang!!!
She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?" !!!!!!!!!!


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Question on amitabh at KCB #joke

12/06/15 4:12:26 pm: Pavana Suryanarayanan: Sardarji in the KBC

Amitabh : apka last question 5 crore ka yeh raha apke samne..

Contestant Sardar is tensed.

Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan?

Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachan
B. Dharmendra
C. Amjad Khan
D. Sanjeev Kumar

Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ?
(He is quite sure that Sardar will opt for A)
But Sardar is still confused.

Sardar: I think it is A

"Are you sure?", says Amitabh in style

Sardar gets more confused and nervous.

Sardar : I would like to use 50:50?

Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..

Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -

B. Dharmendra
C. Amjad Khan

Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake. But as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Sardar is even more confused.

Sardar: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..

Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?

Sardar : Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga.

Amitabh Bachchan Shocked !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan

Santa Singh: "Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?"

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Jaya Bachchan asks, "What are the options?"
Amitabh faints...


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Happiness lies with you! #message

13/06/15 1:28:12 am: Chandu Battula: This article is a must read for everyone
👍👍👍👍
Forwarding a good message:

After years of hard & dedicated service to his Company, Ajay was being appointed at an elegant reception as the new Director.

It was a small function where his wife Anita , a Home Executive & some of the wives of the other persons in top management were also present.

In an adjacent room, Ann, the wife of the CEO of the Company, asked Ajay's wife a very odd & usual question; "Does your husband make you happy?"

The husband, Ajay, who at that moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride & hope, would definitely not publically lower or degrade her husband, would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage and generally in life.

Nevertheless, to both his & the others' surprise, she replied simply; "No, no he doesn't make me happy…"

The room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to the spouse's response. There was a sudden coldness in the air. The husband was petrified. A frown appeared on his face.
He couldn't believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him. To the amazement of her husband & of everyone!

Anita sat up firmly & explained in a modest but stern tone to the other wives who were present;
"No, he doesn't make me happy… I AM HAPPY. The fact that I am happy or not doesn't depend on him, but on me. GOD has granted each of us intellect & discretion to reason, interpret & decide. GOD made me the person upon which my happiness depends.

I make the choice to be happy in each situation & in each moment of my life.
If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble!

Over my life I have learned a couple of things: I decide to be happy & the rest is a matter of 'experiences or circumstances' like helping, understanding, accepting, listening, consoling & with my spouse, I have lived & practiced this many times.

Honestly true happiness lies in being content"

Relieved & reassured, a smile was clearly noticed on Ajay's face.

Happiness will always be found in contentment, forgiveness & in loving ourselves & others.
To truly love is difficult, it is to forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the "experiences or circumstances" as they are, facing them together & being happy with conviction.

There are those who say I cannot be happy :
· Because I am sick.
· Because I have no money.
· Because it's too cold.
· Because they insulted me.
· Because someone stopped loving me.
· Because someone didn't appreciate me.

But what they don't know is that they can be happy even though sick, whether it is too hot, whether they have money or not, whether someone has insulted them, or someone didn't love or hasn't valued them.

Being Happy is an attitude about life & each one of us must decide!

Being Happy, depends on us!

It Depends on Me.
I fall. I rise. I make mistakes. I live. I learn. I've been hurt but I'm alive. I'm human. I'm not perfect but I'm Thankful.


🌹🙏🌹


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Life is like a big mirror #message

10/06/15 7:42:23 pm: Pavana Suryanarayanan: Once a dog ran into a museum where all the walls, the ceilng, the door and even the floor was made of mirror. Seeing this, the dog froze in surprise in the middle of the hall, and a whole pack of dogs surrounded it from all sides, from above and below. When the dog bared his teeth, all the reflections responded to it in the same way. Frightened, the dog frantically barked - the reflections imitated the bark and increased it many ...times. The dog barked even harder and the echo was keeping up. The dog tossed from one side to another, biting the air - his reflections also tossed around snapping their teeth.
Next morning the museum's security guards found the miserable dog, lifeless and surrounded by a million reflections of lifeless dogs. There was nobody else in the museum who meant anyharm to the dog. The dog died fighting his own reflections.

The world doesn't bring good or evil on its own. Everything that is happening around us is the reflection of our own thoughts, feelings, wishes and actions.
The World is a big mirror. Strike a good pose!


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Mahabharata characters in everyday office #comparison

10/06/15 7:00:10 am: Chandu Battula: Who is Dronacharya:
The Mentor. The employee who doesn't like working himself but is always ready to guide and train new joiners.

Who is Bhishma:
The Loyal. The employee in a relatively senior position who happily assists the boss in spite of knowing his incompetence (because of some strange oath maybe)

Who is Dhritarashtra:
The blind boss. He knows that everything is wrong with his project but will still let it function, without making any changes to the current processes.

Who is Gandhari:
The Yes men/Women. Boss's immediate juniors who know that they are a part of an evil plan but will stay blindfolded and pretend as if nothing is happening.

Yuddhisthira:
The ethical guy. Poor chap would never fudge timesheets and call in sick only when he is dying.

Bheema:
The angry resource. Always ready to pick up a fight with his peers, subordinates or even the bosses.

Arjuna:
The cool dude. The star performer who also knows how to sell his skills. A natural charmer, very famous among the ladies.

Nakul & Sahdev:
The good average resource. No one notices them. They keep doing their work and get average appraisals.

Duryodhana:
The Bully. Knows how to get work done, by hook or by crook. Doesn't mind threatening the likes of Nakul and Sahdev to get his work done.

Karna:
The unsung hero. The best performer in the office but never claims credit for his work. Stays an unsung hero for all his life. Girls take him for a snobbish nerd.

Shakuni:
The evil plotter. Copies management in every mail. Escalates every trivial issue, sometimes to take credits and sometimes purely for fun.

Draupadi:
The shared resource. Keeps hopping projects on boss's advice.

Krishna:
The Ultimate Boss (MD/CEO) who knows that it is his game while he makes everyone believe that they are playing important roles too.

Who says history never repeats itself.... ????
Yes, It does, everyday.....in the office.....


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Husband..

Get WhatsApp for your iPhone, Android, Nokia, BlackBerry or Windows Phone today: https://www.whatsapp.com/dl/

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Husband and wife story - deaf

04/06/15 10:48:17 pm: Bhaskar Rama Murthy Kattamuru: ***Superb Story***

Rakesh was worried that his wife was having an hearing problem and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.


"Here's what you do,"
said the Doctor,
"stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet,
then 20 feet,
and so on until you get a response.."


That evening,
his wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner,
and Rakesh thought of testing the same.
He says to himself,
"I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.?"

Then in a normal tone he asks,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"


No response....


So he moves closer to the kitchen,
about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"


Still No response...


Next he moves to the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets No response...


So, he walks up to the kitchen door,
about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is No response....

So he walks right up behind her,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"


(You'll Love this)

















"For God's sake Rakesh,
its the FIFTH time I am telling you,
its 'AALOO PARATHA'.!"
😳

Dont laugh alone. Pass it on 😂😂😂


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Finally a Husband's point of view. 😝 #funny

03/06/15 4:24:09 pm: Sravanthi Ramani Akka Son: Finally a Husband's point of view. 😝

At last a Husband has taken the time to write down this all finally.

We always hear "the rules" from the Wife's side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note..these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Husbands ARE not mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cars, bikes or games

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. U r in shape..... Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

🔹Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh..

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh. 😜😝


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Joke on woman suicide

02/06/15 11:37:18 pm: Hari Battula: (👨) Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from room) Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife & she says she will jump from your hotel window.

(💂) Manager : Sir, I am sorry, but this is your personal Issue.
(👨) Husband : Abey Saale ! The window is not opening. This is a maintenance issue ..😆😆😆 Good night... 😊😊


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Women jokes #jokes

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