Some random jokes - good ones

Joke time.....📢📢📢📢📢

😆😆😆😆😆

.................................................

Wife - i m going to London do u want any gift 

Hus- a british girl ...

Wife- ok...

Wife returns..

Hus- where is d gift ?

Wife- wait for 9 months

---------------------

In an entrance of an hospital sardar ask a boy

Sardar- why r u crying?

Boy- they cut my finger for blood test...

Sardar- Baap re , i came here  for urine test...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

................. ...............................

Argument between British and India.

British - we spoiled ur mother land for 200 yrs hahaha

India - hahaha we r spoiling your mother tongue daily hahahahahaha

😃😃😃😀

 ........ ...... .............................. ..

Teacher - what is d full form of MATHS..

Student- mentally affected teacher harassing student...

..............................................

Son - Girl next door does not know English

Father -  How do you know ??

Son - I asked her to giv me a kiss and she slapped me. bloody uneducated girl.

😁😁😄😄😄😄

..................................................

Sardar in computr exam.

Exmnr- wht iz microsoft excel ?

Sardar - i thnk it iz a new brand of surf excel to clean d computer...

New in Market...........fwd it quickly....

Our judicial system

Our judicial system

A cow was running away from the jungle. ..

An elephant stopped the cow and asked the reason behind the panic..

Cow said : "government had ordered to catch all the buffaloes in the jungle"

Elephant asked: "but you are a cow, why are you running ??

Cow said: " I know I am cow , but if they catch me , it will take 20 years to prove that I am a cow not a buffalo. ...!

Elephant also started running   with the cow....

😂😂😂😂

Lovely and caring women

Fr both..

Ante Wat big day ah ani??

Nd shravzz wats tat...

My Wife DOES NOT WORK !!!

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a  Psychologist (P):

🔸P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy?

🔹H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

🔸P : Your Wife ?

🔹H : She doesn't work. She's a Housewife only.

🔸P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?

🔹H : My Wife, because she doesn't work.

🔸P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?

🔹H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

🔸P : How do your kids go to school?

🔹H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.

🔸P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do?

🔹H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn't work.

🔸P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do?

🔹H : Take rest, because i'm tired due to all day works.

🔸P : What does your wife do then?

🔹H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.

💯✔Whom do you think works more, from the story above???

🔱The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called 'DOESN'T WORK'??!!

🎋Yes, Being Housewives do not need Certificate of Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!

💝Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable. This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand and appreciate each others roles.

🎏All about a WOMAN ....

💛When she is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.

💙When she stares at you, she is wondering why she loves you so much in spite of being taken for granted.

💜When she says I will stand by you, she will stand by you like a rock.

💚Never hurt her or take her wrong or for granted...

↪Forward to every woman to make her smile and to every man to make him realize a woman's worth...!!!

❤💚💜💙💛💖

A heart touching message..... by a

woman..."

Some one asked her.......

Are you a working woman or a house-

wife ??

She replied : Yes I am a full time

working house-wife.

I work 24 hours a day.....

I'm a "mum",

I'm a wife,

I'm a daughter,

I'm a daughter-in-law.....

I'm an Alarm clock,

I'm a Cook,

I'm a Maid,

I'm a Teacher,

I'm a waiter,

I'm a nanny,

I'm a nurse,

I'm a handyman,

I'm a Security officer,

I'm a Counsellor,

I'm a comforter,

I don't get holidays,

I don't get sick leave,

I don't get day off......

I work through day and night.....

I'm on call......

all hours and get paid with a

sentence.....

"what do you do all day"

★ [ DON,T FORGET TO SHARE ] 👏👏👏👏👏

Dedicated to all women😘😊

👌🍃Woman has the most unique character like salt

Her presence is never remembered but Her absence makes all the things tasteless !!🐾👍

Pass it to all the lovely ladies.....your Mother. .....your Wife......your daughter ...your sister.....your friend😊 . 👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧

Guess the phone brands by looking at the emoticons

Guess the phone brands:

1.❌🔑👍.

2.✋✋📱

3.💯❌💦👶 

4.⏪🐯🐯🐯🐯.

5.🎼Ⓜ🎤.

6.💯❌.

7.👀📞.

8.🚗🔥

9.⚫🍓.

10.👀🎾 

11.🎤😭💪❌

12.#⃣☕👀

13.📐⛽

Itz a brain game.... Find it

Hint 7.iPhone

Answer

1 nokia

8 karbon

2 tataindicom

5 samsung

9blackberry

13 LG

12 HTC

10 iball

11 micromax

7iphone

6 sony 

5samsung

3 song erricson

4 reliance

Easy solutions for complicated problems

Some years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco. 

Mensa, is an international organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher.

Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local cafe. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.

How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly -- this was a job for Mensa minds.

The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.

They then called the waitress over, ready to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker"

But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted & said.

"Oh -- sorry about that."  

She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them. 

There was dead silence at the Mensa table.

💡💡💡💡💡

For most of the problems there are simple solutions but it is our “Brilliant” minds that complicate every simple solution. Take a relook at life, you will find non issues mostly! And wherever there are issues there will be easy solutions.

Balakrishna jokes

Joke-1

SIR: Nuvvu em kaavalukuntunav?

STUDENT: Nenu MBBS chadivi, Police Ayyi,Manchi software company lo, lawyerga work chesi pedda pedda building lu kattukuntu collector ga job chesukunta

SIR: orey nijam chepu ra nuvu balakrishna fan kada..,?? 

Joke-2

Balayya: Nenu kuda jagan la odarpu yatra cheddam anukuntunnara

Zunior N: enduku babai?

Balayya: mana cinemalu choosi chanipoyina varikosam

Zunior N: nuvu keka babai 

Joke-3

Balaya: Doctor, this Bucket has got a hole. Can you please repair it?

Doctor: Stupid. you knw who iam?

Balaya: Of course I heard that you are a famous “Plastic Surgeon” 

Joke-4

Jr N: Babai naa celllo charging ledu,nee cell ivvu

Balayya: Naa cell full charginglo undi bluetooth on chey pampistaaaa

Jr N: wat a great idea babai!!!!!!! 

Joke-5

Jr N: Enti babay kotta kurchi ekkadidi?

Balayya: Adem ledura ninna interview ki vellin’te take your seat annaaru. Andike pattukochchaaaaaa. 

Joke-6

balayya goes to the programme “koun banega karod pathi”. the conversation between amitabachchan and balayya.

Amitab: In which state godavari flows?

Balayya: Liquid State (some one is clapped amitab is shocked ) (balayya looked behind) Jr N: Babai super!!!

Joke-7

American: First we land on moon

Russian: First we land on jupitor

Balayya from India: Said first we land on sun

America: How is it possible itso hot

Balayya: Ore swamy memu night land ayyamura 

Joke-8

Balayya’s 60th B’day

NTR – Cake meeda BULB endhuku petav babai?

Balayya – 60 Candels pettadam kastam kada andhukani, 60 wats bulb pettanu..!

NTR – Nuvvu keka babai 

Joke-9

Movie Dialogues about Balayya

Pokiri: Evadi cinima chusthe, dimma dirigi mind block avuthundo vaade ballayy

Aadi: Ammathodu addanga narukkunta Avadikanna Balayya theliyaka pothey? 

Joke-10

BALLAYA KI PELLI PELLI CHUPULU………….

Balayya – Entha varaku chadivavu

Ammayi: B.A

Balayya – chadivinave 2 mukkalu avi kuda malla reverse lona….!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-11

Balayya – “batta tala” vunte chala goppa vallu avtaranta nijamena???

Lecturer – “Cheviti na kodaka ‘batta tala’ kadu ra ‘pattudala’ 

Joke-12

Once a Donkey Kicked Balayya & Ran away.

Balayya started chasing & found a zebra & started beating by saying

“dress maruste kanipettalena !!!!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-13

Aghora tells ballaya abt magadheera

“vadu mande agni golam la kanipistadu”

Balayya – Mari Tuesday ela untadu?

AGHORA: Inko 400 years ayna nuv marav ra baaliga 

Joke-14

Jr.NTR – Adenti babai pinni pregnant kada mari delivari ki hospital kakunda pizza shop ki enduku teeskellav?

Balayya – Aare pizza shop lo delivery free anta ra….!!!!!!! 

Joke-15

Balayya – Arey na lover ki msg pampali ra.

Jr NTR – BABAI NEN PAMPISTA na mobile ivu.

Balayya – Aare jagrata hand writing teda rakunda chudu..!!! 

Joke-16

Ballaya calling 2 customer care, a girl received the call

Balayya – hello evaru?

Girl – I am sita

Balayya – Ayyo devuda..idhi AYODHYA ki vellinda!! Sorry sitamma !!!!! 

Joke-17

Jr NTR – Babai 4 x 3 entha ????

Balayya – Adhi kooda teliyadanu kunnava 4 x 3 = 12 ra.

Jr NTR – Aithe 3 x 4 entha ???

Balayya – abbaa question reverse ga adigithe answer cheppa lenani anukunnava ??? 3 x 4 = 21 

Joke-18

Yamudu – I’m Going to Take ur life . Tell ur last wish

Balayya – pls come and watch my film : simha

Yamudu – Rascal.. Nenu neeku Sketch veste, nuvvu naaku sketch vesthava ??? 

Joke-19

Balayya Proposes her college mate : Rani I LOVE YOU!!

RANI – Poyi Principal ki cheptha.

Balayya – Principal ki already pelli ayipoyindha gaaa..

Joke-20

Once Balayya & Jr.NTR will go to shop for re-charging mobile with top up card

Shop Keeper – 30 Rs. Card re-charge chesukunte 26 Rs talk time vasthundhi.

Balayya – aithe migatha 4 Rs. Ki Biscuits ivvu

Jr NTR – Babai. Cream biscuits ivvamani cheppu 

Joke-21

Once there was an offer in a shop “Take anything for Rs.1000 and get 1 saree free”..

Balayya goes into the shop takes change for Rs.1000 and asks for Free saree 

Joke-22

Balayya to Jr NTR – Velli chetlaki(Tree) ki nilu pattu

Jr NTR – It’s already raining.

Balayya – So what take an umbrella and go.

Jr NTR – Nuvu Keka babai 

Joke-23

Balayya – I’ll never marry in my life and I’ll give same advice to my children also 

Joke-24

Laxmi pranitha asked Jr NTR what sort of books you like

Jr NTR – Check books. 

Joke-25

Ballaya giving exam while standing at the door.

Jr NTR – Babai Why are you standing at the door?

Balayya – Abbai, I am giving entrance test 

Joke-26

Jr NTR – Babai nenu ivala Rs 1000/- odipoyanu

Balayya – Ela abbai

Jr NTR – Morning cricket match lo Rs 500/- bet kattanu, INDIA Match odipoyindhi

Balayya – Abbai 500 ee kada, maari migitha 500

Jr NTR – Night high lights mida 500 petta babai, malli odipoyindhi 

Joke-27

Balayya participated in cycle race..Baaga thokkadu kani Odipoyadu

Jr NTR – Enduku odipoyawu babai

Balayya – Evado cycle ki stand vesadu ra.. 

Joke-28

BREAKING NEWS

ISRO DOES NOT EXISTS ANYMORE…..!!

Balayya – PURCHASED ALL THE ROCKETS FOR DIWALI. CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-29

Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:

THINK WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF BALAYYA WOULD HAVE BORN 150 YEARS AGO..?????

Jr NTR – - BRITISH WOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR INDEPENDANCE… 

Joke-30

Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:

THE PYRAMIDS IN EGYPT ARE ACTUALLY what?

Jr NTR – - Thet are Babai PRIMARY SCHOOL CRAFT PROJECTS!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-31

DEFINITION OF SOLAR ECLIPSE:

WHEN BALAYYA STARES AT SUN WITH ANGER, SUN HIDES BEHIND THE MOON.

THIS GREATEST PHENOMENA IS CALLED SOLAR ECLIPSE………!!!!! 

Joke-32

Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:

Do you know what Ghajini never forgets?

Jr NTR – - GHAJINI never forgets BALAYYA name!!!! Ghajini has a tatto with Babai name on his soul 

Joke-33

Balayyas next project.

Titanic in Telugu .

Climax revised.

Both survive. Balayya swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and Titanic in the other. 

Joke-34

THE SARDARJIS ASSOCIATION HAS DECIDED TO DONATE ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS TO BALAYYA AS A TOKEN OF THANKS FOR SHIFTING PEOPLES FOCUS AWAY FROM THEM!!!!! :p 

Joke-35

Balayya gets an message on his cell:

kannayya your son is dead

Balayya jumps from the 50th floor

at 45th floor he remembers that he did not have a son

at 23rd floor he remmebers that he is not married

at 3rd floor “shit my name is not kannayya it is Balayya” 

Joke-36 

Joke-36

Jr NTR asked Balayya do you know MS Office?

Balayya – Give me the address, i will GO 

Joke-37

Ballaya buy coffee for Jr NTR

Ballaya says… Drink quickly..

Jr NTR – Enduku babai

Balayya – says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10 

Joke-38

American – Do any great man born your village??

Balayya – No only small babies born here. 

Joke-39

Once Balayya attended an Interview.

Interviewer – Give me the opposite words.

Balayya – Ok

Interviewer – Made in India

Balayya – Destroyed in Pakistan

Interviewer – Good Keep it Up

Balayya – Bad Put it Down

Interviewer – Maxi Mum

Balayya – Mini Dad

Interviewer – Enough! Take your Seat

Balayya – Insufficient! Don’t take my seat

Interviewer – Idiot! Take your seat

Balayya – Clever! Don’t take my seat

Interviewer – I say you get out!

Balayya – You didn’t say I come in

Interviewer – I reject you!

Balayya – You appoint me 

Joke-40

Jr.Ntr&balaya walking on the road.

They saw 1000Rs note on the road.

Jr NTR – Manam fifty fifty theesukundam babai.

Balayya – Migilina 900 em chedam ra 

Joke-41

Balakrishna went to cloth market

Balayya – Manchi cloth chupinchandi..

Salesman – plane lo chupinch mantara….

Balayya – Nee yabba plane lo kadu ra ikkade chupinchu… 

Joke-42

Interviewer – Me birth place ekkda…?

Balayya – Tiruvnannthapuram….

Interviewer – Tell me the spelling…?

Balayya – Indaka joke chesa, nenu GOA lo puttanu… 

Joke-43

NTR – Babai ratri mobile charging petti padukoku..

Balayya – : Endukura …?

NTR – Battery blast avutundanta…

Balayya – Telusura bacha anduke nenu Battery teesi charging Pettanu… 

Joke-44

NTR – Adenti Babai Tablet sides cut chesi vesukuntunnavu…?

Balayya – Side effects rakunda untayani..

NTR – Rakhi Bagundi evaru kattaru babai…?

Balayya – Abundance na Lovertho nene kattiinchukunna… 

Joke-45

“SPIDER MAN” remaking BALAIAH and the Title will be.

“SEEMALO SALEPURUGU”

CAPTION: Veedu paakaledu yem Peekaledu

Story - Give without expecting anything in Return

Worth Reading...

Once Krishna and Arjuna were walking towards a village. Arjuna was pestering Krishna, asking him why Karna should be considered an unparallelled Donor & not him ?

Krishna, turned two mountains into gold. 

Then said,  "Arjuna, distribute these two gold mountains among villagers, but you must donate every bit of it ". 

Arjuna went into the village, and proclaimed he was going to donate gold to every villager, and asked them to gather near the mountain. The villagers sang his praises and Arjuna walked towards the mountains with a huffed up chest. 

For two days and two nights Arjuna shovelled gold from the mountain and donated to each villager. The mountains did not diminish in the slightest.

Most villagers came back and stood in queue within minutes. Now Arjuna was exhausted, but not ready to let go of his  Ego, told Krishna he couldn't go on any longer without rest. 

Then Krishna called Karna and told him to donate every bit of the two gold mountains.

Karna called the  villagers,  and said "Those two Gold mountains are yours. " and walked away.

Arjuna sat dumbfounded. Why hadn't this thought occurred to him? 

Krishna smiled mischievously and told him "Arjuna, subconsciously, you were attracted to the gold, you regretfully gave it away to each villager, giving them what you thought was a generous amount. Thus the size of your donation to each villager depended only on your imagination. 

Karna holds no such reservations. Look at him walking away after giving away a fortune, he doesn't expect people to sing his praises, he doesn't even care if people talk good or bad about him behind his back. That is the sign of a man already on the path of enlightenment".

Giving with an Expectation of a Return in the form of a Compliment or Thanks is not a Gift, then it becomes a Trade. 

" Give without expecting anything in Return."

Givers Gain 👌