Quotable quotes

World's 8  superb  sentences

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Shakespeare :👌

Never  play  with the feelings

of  others  because  you may

win the  game but the  risk is

that  you  will surely  lose 

the person  for a  life time.

--------------------------------

Napoleon.👌

The world  suffers  a  lot. Not

because  of  the  violence  of

bad people, But because   of

the silence of good people!

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Einstein :👌

I  am  thankful  to  all those

who  said  NO  to  me   It's

because  of  them  I  did  it

myself.

--------------------------------

Abraham Lincoln :👌

If friendship is your weakest

point  then  you  are  the

strongest  person  in the

world.

--------------------------------

Shakespeare :👌

Laughing  faces  do  not

mean that  there is  absence

of sorrow!  But it means that

they  have the ability to deal

with it. 

----------------------

William  Arthur : 👌

Opportunities   are  like

sunrises, if  you  wait too

long  you  can miss them. 

------------------------------

Hitler : 👌

When  you  are  in  the light,

Everything follows  you, But

when  you  enter  into   the

dark, Even your own shadow

doesn't  follow  you.

--------------------------------

Shakespeare : 👌

Coin  always  makes  sound

but  the  currency  notes are

always  silent.  So  when

  your value  increases

keep quiet.

Jokes

Can't stop laughing  .................

Sardar's  e-banking password was:

"ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal"

Banta: Dis much lengthy password?

Sardar: wat to do. Bank fellow told password should contain 5 character & 1 capital.

Banta: Dats ok. But, y Kejrival's name??

Sardar: Oh! One special character  also should b there....😄😊😛😆😝😜😜

#1)

😂😂😂

Can't resist: 

Teacher: 5 - 5 = how much?

Sudent is quiet…..

Teacher tries again: agar tere paas 5 idli hai  aur main tere 5 idli le lu, tere paas kya bachega?

Student: sambar aur chutney....😃

Another gem from IIN

#2)

My friend sent this and I'm cracking .... Joke ::::

A man hunts a DEER, cooks it & serves it for dinner. 😎😘

He doesn't tell kids what it is and asks them to guess.😁

Kids ask him for some hint 😯😮

He gives them a Clue:

"It's what your Mom calls me..."😊😍

Youngest Son shouts:

"😱Koi mat khana... 

KUTTA hai KUTTA...!"

#3)

A engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop... 

He went to him & said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums....! 

The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running."

👌👏 classic!

.

Continuation

.Engineer. Revenge

.

.

.

.

.

The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said 

I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . . . . . But can you ???

👌👏 Not only classic but Epic 😂😂👍

Wife: Meri sharafat dekho..

Maine tumhe dekhe bagair shaadi karli...

Husband: Aur meri sharafat dekho..

Maine dekh kar bhi inkaar nahi kiya..

😝😝😝😝😝😝

Wife: Phone pe itni dheemi awaaz mein kis se baat kar rahe ho?

Husband: Behen hai..!

Wife: To fir itni dheemi aawaz mein kis liye?

Husband: Teri hai is liye.. 😰😰😂😂😂

WIFE: Suno ji, agar tumhare baal isi raftaar se jhadte rahe toh main tumhein talaaq de doongi!!

Pati: Ya Allah, aur main paagal inko bachaane ki koshish kar raha tha.....

☺😝😱😏

Wife: Tum Saari Duniya Mein Bhi Dhoondo To Bhi Mujh Jaisi Doosri Nahi Milegi......

Husband: Tum Kya Samajhti Ho? Main Doosri Bhi Tum Jaisi Hi Dhoondoon ga..! Hadd Ho Gayi..

😛😜😂😝😛

Taxiwala:- 

"Saheb Break fail ho gayi hai, Gaadi rukti nahi,  kya karu?"

Passenger :- "PEHLE TU METER BAND KAR.!" 

😂😂😝😂😂

Why Hindu Law doesn't permit second marriage?

Answer:- Indian Constitution article 20(2) says: "No human can be punished twice for the same offence..😊😊😊😊😊😊

Jagjit Singh singing- Yeh daulat bhi lelo, yeh shaurat bhi lelo..

Suddenly Santa stands up & says-Main toh bahut pareshan hoon, meri toh aurat bhi lelo....

😜😂😛😝😂😜

............................................

Tufaani baarish Aadhi raat

Ek aadmi pizza hut se pizza lene gaya 

Pizza wala:- aap married ho??

Aadmi:- saale, aise tufaan me kaunsi maa apne bete ko pizza lene bhejegi..

........................................

Difference between talent and god’s gift:

A man can give lecture for 2 hrs on any subject.

-This is talent.

A woman can give lecture for 2 hrs without any subject.

-This is god’s gift. 😜

.......................................

Bhikhari (Car mein bethi lady se): "Madam 10 Rs dedo..!" Lady ne paise de diye... . . Bhikhari jane laga tabi... . . Lady boli:- Baba Dua To Dete Jao..! . . . . Bhikhari:- BMW Mein To Baithi Hai Moti... Ab Kya... "Rocket Pe Baithegi..!!!" 😆😆😆😆

.............................................

TV Reporter ne ek zakhmi se pucha:

Jab Bomb gira to kya vo jor se gira?

Zakhmi gusse me:

Nahi Saale, vo rengta hua mere paas aya aur sharma k bola..... dhummm.

😂😂😂😂

Ek Engineer ko Job nahi mili

to usne ek clinic khola or likha

300 Rs. me elaaj karvaye

elaaj nahi hua to 1000 Rs. wapas

.

.

.

Ek Doctor ne socha 1000 Rs. kamane ka bahut

accha mauka hai

wo clinic me gaya or bola

Doctor : Mujhe kisi bhi chiz ka swad nahi aata

Engineer : box no. 22 me se dawai nikalo or 3 bund

pilado ( Nurs ne piladi )

Doctor : ye to petrol hai

Engineer : Mubarak ho aapko swad aa gaya

laao 300 Rs.

.

.

.

Doctor ko gussa aa gaya

kuch din baad wapas gaya

purane paise wasulne

Doctor : Meri yaad-daast kamzor ho gayi hai

Engineer Nurs se : boox no. 22 me se dawai nikalo

or 3 bund pilao

Doctor : lekin wo dawai to zuban ke taste ke liye

hai

Engineer : Ye lo tumhari yaad-daast wapas aa gayi

laao 300 Rs.

.

.

.

Kuch din baad Doctor gusse me gaya

Doctor : Meri nazar kamzor ho gayi hai

Engineer : Iski dawai mere pass nahi hai

Ye lo 1000 Rs.

Doctor : Lekin ye to 100 kaa note hai

Engineer : Aa gayi nazar

Laa 300 Rs.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜

😂Joke time 😂

If a tiger🐯 attacks ur mother-in-law and ur wife at the same time, whom would u save? .........

SANTA : Ofcourse, 

The tiger🐯.. very few are left..!!!! 

🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅

Once Again Our SARDAR wins English Quiz Contest With His Terrific Reply...!!

Question:-Whats The Opposite Of BARCELONA..??

Sardar:- ANDAR SE DO NA...!

🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅

Who is the leader of Ducks ???

Santa: Frog

Why?

Because Frog is Mainduck!

🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅

Santa in police office: ye photos kiski hain ???

Police officer: yeh criminals ki jinko arrest kerna hai.

SANTA: jab photo li tab arrest ker lena tha na.:)

🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅

Ek sardar ka RADIO📻 kharab ho gaya,

khol k dekha to under CHHUHA🐭 mra hua tha,

dekh k sardar bola:AE lo,chalega kaise.

🎤SINGER to mar gaya. .

🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅

Santa: Ye bata ki duniya🌏 me kitne desh hai?

Banta: Kar di na pagalo wali bat, duniya me 1 hi desh hai INDIA, baki sab to videsh hai!

🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅

Santa: saala kal raat 3 ghanta

English film dekhi….

Na koi scene dikhi,

Na koi aawaz suni.

Friend: film ka naam kya tha?

Santa: "No Disc Inserted"

🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅

Santa samundar me dahi dal raha tha

Banta-kya kar rahe ho?

Santa-lassi bana raha hu!

Banta-teri isi harkato se log humpe haste hai,

ab itni lassi kon piyega be?

                                                                                                                                                                                           🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅🔅

Teacher: Ganga, yamuna, Kaveri, Krishna, Bharat ki nadiyo k naam hai

to pakistan ki nadiyo k naam batao??

Pappu :   "Rukhsana, Farzana, Rizwana, Sultana, Shabana

😜😜😝😝

😂😂😂😂😂

Abhi Abhi naya aaya hai, share karo or hanssi phehalaana 😝😂😜👍

MUNNA & CIRCUIT

😂😂😂

Munna: Kya kar rela hai circuit?

Circuit: Bhai bulb pe baap ka naam likh rela hu

Munna: Kyun!

Circuit: Bhai, baap ka naam roshan karne ka he na.

😜

Munna: Ae Circuit ye Dr. log opration se pehle patient ko behosh kyun karte hai?

Circuit: Bhai! Bole to patient opration sikh gaya to Dr. Logo ki to wat lag jayegi na.

😜

Circuit: Bhai, apun ne kal Sania Mirza se phone pe baat ki.

Munna bhai: Arre wah, kya kaha usne.

Circuit: Usne kaha, Mamu wrong number!!

😜

Munna: ye Gandhi Bapu

har note me haste hi kyu rehte hei ??

Circuit: Simple hai

BHAI, Royenge to note

geeela ho jayenga na.

😜

Nice message

Sharing a nice message some one has posted to me:

When flood comes, fish eats ants and when flood recedes, ants eat fish. Only time matters. Just hold on. God gives opportunity to every one.

In a theatre when drama plays, you opt for front seats. When film is screened, you opt for rear seats. Your position in life is only relative. Not absolute.

For making soap, oil is required. But to clean oil, soap is required. This is the irony of life.

Every problem has (N+1) solutions: where N is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried.

When you are in problem, don't think it's the End. It is only a Bend in life.

Only two category of people are happy in life - the Mad and the Child. 😀

Be Mad to achieve a goal.

Be a Child to enjoy what you achieved. 👍

There is no Escalator to success.

Only Steps !! 😊

Check out your birthday - see what kind of person you are

Check out your Birthday.

(note :jisase bat nai karte ho use bhi send karo.)

                            

31- biggest kamchoor👹

30- aadarsh insaan😇

29- smiling face always😊

28- happy go lucky😃

27- intelligent person😍

26- can play with hearts😍

25- studious😲

24- can make others jealous😏

23- always ready to party💃

22-caring 😊

21-helpful😀

20-sharif☺

19-d perfect person😄

18-bazzigar🏇

17-yaaro ka yaar👬

16-maa da ladla👶

15-true lover ❤

14-name bade darsan khote😁

13-hero/😎

12-badmas👻

11-cutest😥

10-fattu☺

9-bade dilwala💖

8-sensitive💗

7-good person😧

6-nautanki😜..

5-smart inshan👏n

4-fun loving😉

3-smart & honesty 😊

2-lucky person👍

1- active 😏

Wat is ur bday date.??

Akbar Birbal about finding idiots

Akbar called Birbal and asked, like there are Brilliant people in his State will there be Idiots available?. 

Birbal said there will be.

Akbar then ordered Birbal to go around the State search and bring 5 of such Idiots and present to him in the Council.

Birbal was awestruck since you can identify brilliant people by conducting some form of competition, but how to identify Idiots.

However he goes around the State and after a month comes back with 2 such people. There after following is the conversation between Akbar and Birbal

Akbar: Dear Minister I think you are poor in counting, I asked for 5 people and you have brought only 2.

Birbal: Your Highness please let me explain and then you will know yourself

Akbar: OK. Go ahead

Birbal: When I was going around the State I found this guy carrying a huge Gunny Bag on his head and travelling in a Bullock Cart. When I asked he said that if he keeps the bag in the Cart it will be overloaded and hurt the Bulls. I realised he is the 5th Idiot and brought him to you.

Akbar: Excellent. Next

Birbal: I saw the other guy was taking his Buffalo to the roof top of his house for grazing where grass was found grown. I realised he is the 4th Idiot and brought him to you.

Akbar: Fine. Next.

Birbal: When there are so many problems in the functioning of this kingdom, leaving those entire aside I have been going around the State for a month wasting my time in searching for Idiots, hence I am the 3rd Idiot.

Akbar: Laughs out loud. Next.

Birbal: Instead of solving all the problems that are there in the Kingdom, you have been looking for Idiots in your State, hence you are the 2nd Idiot.

Hearing this entire Council was scared and there was pin drop silence.

Akbar: Fine there is truth in your statement. Who is the 1st Idiot?

Birbal: Your Highness when there are so much of work in the Office and Home to attend to, leaving all this aside person who is reading this Story to know who is the 1st Idiot in “What’s App” is the 1st idiot

Market mein naya hain....jaldi share karo..🙈👈😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂

Balakrishna Jokes

Died Laughing....

There was a 100 metre race going on...

Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'...

Everybody started running except Balakrishna.

Referee - y r u not running...?

Balakrishna  - My number is 4...

___________________________________

Jr Ntr: how many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?

Bala krishna : I can eat 6 apples.

Jr Ntr: Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple tht’s not an empty stomach!

Balakrishna : Wow superb joke I’ll tell my friend...

Vijayakanth to vijayshanthi: how many apples you can eat on an empty stomach ?

vijayshanthi : I can eat 10

Balakrishna : Oh no, if you had told 6, I would have told a nice joke..!! 😫

__________________________________

SBI Bank: Our bank is giving loan without interest....

Bala krishna : If you don't have interest in giving loan then I don't want it....

__________________________________

Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied..

FRENCH : I think I don't smoke (died)

AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died)

Bala krishna : I think.. (died)

___________________________________

Bala krishna  and Jr ntr  are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.

Bala krishna  - what should we do now

Jr Ntr - we'll take 50:50.

Bala krishna - what about the remaining 900?

_________________________________

Bala krishna : Let's go for movie .

Girl friend: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..

Bala krishna 

: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick.

____________________________________

Bala krishna  reading newspaper..

News:

"Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"

Bala krishna  comments:

Idiot !!

Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping

__________________________________

Bala krishna  went to shop to buy Indian flag for independence day

..

Bala krishna  told something and the shop keeper fainted... 

Guess what did Bala krishna  say ? 9

  

'Show me some more colors in this'!!!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Decent jokes

Hilarious😝😝😝😝😝

An employee goes running to HR and ask his resignation back.

HR(surprised): Today is your last day and what happened suddenly?

Employee: My boss is also coming to same place where I am going..😢😄

Keep Laughing