Some random jokes and message on friendship #jokes

30/05/15 8:36:04 pm: Chandu Battula: Tnx raa
30/05/15 8:39:58 pm: Chandu Battula: Lady patient says to Doctor inside his examination room, Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable.

Doctor - trust me lady, I am a gentleman.

Lady patient - no that's notb the issue. Your receptionist is alone outside and my husband is not a gentleman...!!!!!!
😜😜
30/05/15 8:39:59 pm: Chandu Battula: I got a call from bank.
they said:
"U pay us ₹ 6000 every month.
U will get ₹ 1 crore when U retire".

I replied:
"U reverse the plan"
U give me 1 crore now. And I will pay U ₹ 6000 every month till I die.

The banker disconnected the call.

Did I say anything wrong??? 😈😈😝😝😊😄😄😂😂😂😂
30/05/15 8:39:59 pm: Chandu Battula: నేను ఇంటికి ఆలస్యం గా రావడం చూసి డాడీ కోపంగా " ఇంత సేపూ ఎక్కడున్నావురా " అని గద్దించారు . " ఫ్రెండ్ ఇంటికి వెళ్లాను డాడీ " నెమ్మదిగా జవాబు చెప్పాను .

అనుమానం గా ఆయన నా ఫ్రెండ్స్ లో పది మందికి స్పీకర్ ఆన్ చేసి నా ముందే ఫోన్ చేశారు .

ఏమని చెప్పను ............?

నలుగురు ఫ్రెండ్స్ " అంకుల్ వాడు ఇంకా ఇక్కడే ఉన్నాడు " అని చెప్పారు .

ముగ్గురు " ఇప్పుడే ఇంటికి బయలు దేరాడు అంకుల్ " అని చెప్పారు .

ఇద్దరేమో " అంకుల్ ఇక్కడే ఉన్నాడు చదువుకుంటూ ఉన్నాడు , ఫోన్ ఇవ్వనా " అన్నారు .

ఒక హౌలా గాడయితే , నా గొంతుకుతో " డాడీ నేను ఇక్కడే ఫ్రెండ్ ఇంట్లో చదువు కుంటున్నాను , ఏదయినా పనుందా " అనడిగాడు .

ఇది చూసి డాడీ కూడా నవ్వేసి " జీవితం లో స్నేహితులు దొరకడం కాదురా , స్నేహితులలోనే జీవితం దొరుకుతుంది రా భోం చెయ్యి " అనేసి వెళ్ళిపోయారు .


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Iron shop vs saree house #joke

30/05/15 9:16:06 pm: Bhargavi Suggu: Wife saw a board.
Banarasi saree Rs.10/-
Nylon saree 8/-
Cotton saree 5/-

Wife: Give me Rs.500 i will buy 50
sarees.

Husbnd: osei... "ISTRI" shop
adi..
😂😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😜😁😁😁😅😅😅


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#Puzzle

28/05/15 8:10:45 pm: Sai Doma: Can u solve this....
+🔵🔴⚪
+🔵🔴⚪
+🔵🔴⚪
__________
=⚪⚪⚪


What numbers are 🔵, 🔴, ⚪ ?


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Kids really do say the weirdest things!!!! #kids

26/05/15 7:56:15 pm: Col Anil Nair Orchids: Kids really do say the weirdest things!!!!

Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!


JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'


MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more.. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'


STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'


BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'


SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'


DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'


CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'


MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'


TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?


Make sure you pass this one on and spread the smiles....
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
⚠⚠⚠


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Smiling lips #images #message

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Jumbled words with a clue #puzzle

26/05/15 9:50:42 am: LVV Vidyasagar Bhimili Classmate: 🎯 Mind Game:

Every question has 10 marks,
Pass marks 60.

CORRECT THE SPELLING

🎯 Q.1.yeonkwr (a city)
🎯 Q.2. sirasu (a country)
🎯 Q.3. uelrbpm (profession)
🎯 Q.4. utegno (body part)
🎯 Q.5. egnlarefridsi (vegetable)
🎯 Q.6. aechhet (animal)
🎯 Q.7. epialnpep (fruit)
🎯 Q.8. Letbkslaba (sports)
🎯 Q.9. Coremusit (celebrity)
🎯 Q.10. Rtephoilce (vehicle)

YOU have only 1 hour and Your time starts Now. One who answer

👍 7 - Good,
👍 8 - Very Good,
👍 9 - Excellent,
👍 10 - Genius


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Oxymoron - phrases in English

25/05/15 9:34:58 am: Srinivas Mantha: One interesting word in English.

Oxymoron:
An Oxymoron is defined as a phrase in which two words of opposite meanings are brought together....

Here are some funny oxymorons :

1) Clearly Misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty Ugly
8) Seriously Funny
9) Only Choice
10) Original Copies

And people say the Mother of all Oxymorons is-

11) "Happily Married" 😆😂😆
25/05/15 9:35:19 am: Srinivas Mantha: 😄


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Art with keys #art

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India pride - nice jokes and info on indian States #india

24/05/15 5:50:31 pm: mamayya RamakrishnaRao Battula: My dear niece and nephews
Here are some fascinating jokes and information, you all enjoy and let others also enjoy!
Your affectionate all relationships culminate with me ....BRR
24/05/15 5:51:19 pm: mamayya RamakrishnaRao Battula: When you move your
focus from competition
to contribution,
Life becomes celebration.

"Never defeat people,
Just win them"..

Good Morning & Have a wonderful weekend 😄
24/05/15 5:51:20 pm: mamayya RamakrishnaRao Battula: 🐴🏊🐴🏊🐴🏊🐴


Mathematician: How to write 4 in between a 5?

China: Is this a Joke?

Japan: Impossible!

America: The question's wrong!!

UK: Rubbish !!

India: F(IV)E
This is the reason you find Indians everywhere in the world in finance, business, medicine, engineering & arts...
anything to do with optimising your brain!!

British: Can u Swim?
Indian: No
British: Then a Dog is Better den u because It Swims.
Indian: Can u Swim?
British: Yes!
Indian: Then What's the Difference between u & Dog…
British Shocked,Faints!!
Indian Rocks! 👍 😜


European : Y do U indians come in all colors, look at us,we R all white..?
Abdul Kalam: Horses too come in different colors but donkeys R all the same..!!!
😏😏☺😄😄

Send to all Indians all over the globe!

Importance of States in India
🌎Punjab for Fighting,
🌎Bengal for Writing...
🌎Kashmir for Beauty,
🌎Andhra for Duty...
🌎Karnataka for Silk,
🌎Haryana for Milk...
🌎Kerala for Ayurveda, traditional foods..
🌎Tamil for Brains and grains..
🌎Orissa for Temples,
🌎Bihar for Minerals...
🌎Gujarat for Peace,
🌎Assam for Trees...
🌎Rajastan for History,
🌎Maharashtra for Victory...
🌎Himachal for Cold,
🌎Jharkand for Bold...
🌎UP for Rice,
🌎Arunachal for Sunrise...
🌎Goa for Wine,
🌎Meghalaya for Rain...
🌎MP for Diamond,
🌎Sikkim for Almond...
🌎Mizoram for Glass,
🌎Manipur for Dance...
🌎Nagaland for Music,
🌎Chattisghar for Physique...
🌎Uttarkhand for Rivers,
🌎Tripura for Singers...
🌎INDIA...For all religious and it's call Hindustan
THE LAND OF CULTURE🌎:)


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INSTALLING HUSBAND #husband #girlfriend

24/05/15 10:31:33 pm: Bhaskar Rama Murthy Kattamuru: INSTALLING HUSBAND

A Woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I Upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a Distinct Slowdown in the overall System Performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery Applications, which Operated Flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 Uninstalled another Valuable Program, Romance 9.5 and then Installed undesirable Programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1

What can I do ?

Reply:-

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter Command: "ithoughtyoulovedme.html" and try to Download Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically run the Applications Jewellery 3.0 and Flowers 3.5

However, remember, Overuse of the above Application can cause Husband 1.0 to Default to Silence 3.5 or Beer 6.1.

Also DO NOT disturb the original Package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new Virus Girlfriend 2.5 will automatically be Downloaded into your System.

So be careful. In addition, please do not attempt to Re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 Program. These are Unsupported Applications and will Crash Husband 1.0.

We recommend: Cooking 5.0 and Cute Looks 7.7

Good Luck Madam.


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Chair less setting

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Can't beat Malayali

23/05/15 2:24:29 pm: Pavana Suryanarayanan: A malyali Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in US so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100


A lazwyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic...


Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste"


Malyali : "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth"


Lawyer: "Ugh..this is kerosene"

Malyali : "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20"

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...


Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything"


Malyali: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth"


Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste"

Malyali : "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20"

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak""I can't see at all "

Malyali : "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100"

Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100"


Malyali : "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"

You can't beat a Malayali !! 😂😂😂😂😂


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Neat gymnastic activity #gym

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How friend should be - in telugu

22/05/15 8:05:48 pm: Srinivas Mantha: నేను ఇంటికి ఆలస్యంగా రావడం చూసి డాడీ కోపంగా
" ఇంత సేపూ ఎక్కడున్నావురా " అని గద్దించారు . "
ఫ్రెండ్ ఇంటికి వెళ్లాను డాడీ " నెమ్మదిగా జవాబు
చెప్పాను .
అనుమానం గా ఆయన నా ఫ్రెండ్స్ లో పది మందికి
స్పీకర్ ఆన్ చేసి నా ముందే ఫోన్ చేశారు .
ఏమని చెప్పను ............?
నలుగురు ఫ్రెండ్స్ " అంకుల్ వాడు ఇంకా ఇక్కడే
ఉన్నాడు " అని చెప్పారు .
ముగ్గురు " ఇప్పుడే ఇంటికి బయలు దేరాడు
అంకుల్ " అని చెప్పారు .
ఇద్దరేమో " అంకుల్ ఇక్కడే ఉన్నాడు
చదువుకుంటూ ఉన్నాడు , ఫోన్ ఇవ్వనా " అన్నారు .
ఒక హౌలా గాడయితే , నా గొంతుకుతో " డాడీ నేను
ఇక్కడే ఫ్రెండ్ ఇంట్లో చదువు కుంటున్నాను ,
ఏదయినా పనుందా " అనడిగాడు .
ఇది చూసి డాడీ కూడా నవ్వేసి " జీవితం లో
స్నేహితులు దొరకడం కాదురా , స్నేహితులలోనే
జీవితం దొరుకుతుంది రా భోం చెయ్యి " అనేసి
వెళ్ళిపోయారు .
Friendss ante ila undali
Prathi frend avasarame


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Share when you see the horse pic

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Husband and wife - life long relationship

😊👍One day, during an evening class for adults, the psychology Teacher entered the class and told students, “Let’s all play a game!” “ What Game?” 

The Teacher asked one of the students to volunteer. 

A lady, Aliza came forward.

 

The Teacher asked her to write 30 names of most important people in her life on blackboard. 

Aliza wrote names of her family members, relatives, friends, her colleagues and her neighbors.

 

The Teacher told her to erase 3 names that Aliza considered most unimportant. 

Aliza erased names of her colleagues. 

The Teacher again told her to delete 5 more names. Aliza erased her neighbor's names. 

This went on until there were just four names left on the blackboard. These were names of her mother, father, husband and the only son... 

The entire class became silent  realizing that this wasn’t a game anymore for Aliza alone. 

Now, The Teacher told her to delete two more names.

It was a very difficult choice for Aliza. 

She unwillingly deleted her parents names. 

“Please delete one more” said the Teacher. 

Aliza became very nervous and with trembling hands and rears in eyes she deleted her son’s name. Aliza cried  painfully...

 

The Teacher told Aliza to take her seat. 

After a while Teacher asked "why your husband?? The parents are the ones that nurtured you, and the son is the one you gave birth to ??? And you can always find another husband !!!"

Total silence in the class.

Everyone was curious to know her response. 

Aliza calmly and slowly said, “One day my parents will pass away before me. 

My son may also leave me when he grows old, for his studies or business or whatever reason. The only one who will truly share his entire life with me, is my Husband”. 

All the students stood up and applauded for her for sharing this truth of life.👏👏👏

This is true. So always value your life partner, it's not only for husbands but wives as well.

God has united these two souls and it's on you now to nurture this relationship above all.

Doctor vs mechanical engineer

A engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop... 

He went to him & said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums....! 

The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running."

👌👏 classic!

.

Continuation

.Engineer. Revenge

.

.

.

.

.

The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said 

I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . . . . . But can you ???

👌👏 Not only classic but Epic

Army quotes - beautiful

Ten best Indian Army quotes: Must read. Really felt proud just by reading them.

"Either I will come back after hoisting the tricolor, or I will come back wrapped in it, but I will be back for sure.” – Capt. Vikram Batra, PVC

“What is a lifetime adventure for you is a daily routine for us.” – Ladakh Leh highway sign board

“If death strikes, before I prove my blood, I swear I’ll kill death.” – Capt. Manoj Kumar Pandey PVC 1/11 Gorkha Rifles

“Our flag does not fly because the wind moves it, it flies with the last breath of each soldier who died protecting it.”

“To find us, you must be good, to catch us you must be fast, but to beat us…………you must be kidding.”

“May God have mercy on our enemies, because we won’t.”

“We live by chance, we love by choice, we kill by profession.” – Officers Training Academy, Chennai

“If a man says he’s not afraid of dying, he’s either lying, or he’s a Gorkha.” – Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw

“It is God’s duty to forgive the enemies, but it’s our duty to convene a meeting between the two.”

“I regret I have but one life to give for my country.” – Prem Ramchandani

Some random jokes - good ones

Joke time.....📢📢📢📢📢

😆😆😆😆😆

.................................................

Wife - i m going to London do u want any gift 

Hus- a british girl ...

Wife- ok...

Wife returns..

Hus- where is d gift ?

Wife- wait for 9 months

---------------------

In an entrance of an hospital sardar ask a boy

Sardar- why r u crying?

Boy- they cut my finger for blood test...

Sardar- Baap re , i came here  for urine test...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

................. ...............................

Argument between British and India.

British - we spoiled ur mother land for 200 yrs hahaha

India - hahaha we r spoiling your mother tongue daily hahahahahaha

😃😃😃😀

 ........ ...... .............................. ..

Teacher - what is d full form of MATHS..

Student- mentally affected teacher harassing student...

..............................................

Son - Girl next door does not know English

Father -  How do you know ??

Son - I asked her to giv me a kiss and she slapped me. bloody uneducated girl.

😁😁😄😄😄😄

..................................................

Sardar in computr exam.

Exmnr- wht iz microsoft excel ?

Sardar - i thnk it iz a new brand of surf excel to clean d computer...

New in Market...........fwd it quickly....

Our judicial system

Our judicial system

A cow was running away from the jungle. ..

An elephant stopped the cow and asked the reason behind the panic..

Cow said : "government had ordered to catch all the buffaloes in the jungle"

Elephant asked: "but you are a cow, why are you running ??

Cow said: " I know I am cow , but if they catch me , it will take 20 years to prove that I am a cow not a buffalo. ...!

Elephant also started running   with the cow....

😂😂😂😂

Lovely and caring women

Fr both..

Ante Wat big day ah ani??

Nd shravzz wats tat...

My Wife DOES NOT WORK !!!

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a  Psychologist (P):

🔸P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy?

🔹H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

🔸P : Your Wife ?

🔹H : She doesn't work. She's a Housewife only.

🔸P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?

🔹H : My Wife, because she doesn't work.

🔸P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?

🔹H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

🔸P : How do your kids go to school?

🔹H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.

🔸P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do?

🔹H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn't work.

🔸P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do?

🔹H : Take rest, because i'm tired due to all day works.

🔸P : What does your wife do then?

🔹H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.

💯✔Whom do you think works more, from the story above???

🔱The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called 'DOESN'T WORK'??!!

🎋Yes, Being Housewives do not need Certificate of Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!

💝Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable. This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand and appreciate each others roles.

🎏All about a WOMAN ....

💛When she is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.

💙When she stares at you, she is wondering why she loves you so much in spite of being taken for granted.

💜When she says I will stand by you, she will stand by you like a rock.

💚Never hurt her or take her wrong or for granted...

↪Forward to every woman to make her smile and to every man to make him realize a woman's worth...!!!

❤💚💜💙💛💖

A heart touching message..... by a

woman..."

Some one asked her.......

Are you a working woman or a house-

wife ??

She replied : Yes I am a full time

working house-wife.

I work 24 hours a day.....

I'm a "mum",

I'm a wife,

I'm a daughter,

I'm a daughter-in-law.....

I'm an Alarm clock,

I'm a Cook,

I'm a Maid,

I'm a Teacher,

I'm a waiter,

I'm a nanny,

I'm a nurse,

I'm a handyman,

I'm a Security officer,

I'm a Counsellor,

I'm a comforter,

I don't get holidays,

I don't get sick leave,

I don't get day off......

I work through day and night.....

I'm on call......

all hours and get paid with a

sentence.....

"what do you do all day"

★ [ DON,T FORGET TO SHARE ] 👏👏👏👏👏

Dedicated to all women😘😊

👌🍃Woman has the most unique character like salt

Her presence is never remembered but Her absence makes all the things tasteless !!🐾👍

Pass it to all the lovely ladies.....your Mother. .....your Wife......your daughter ...your sister.....your friend😊 . 👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧👧

Guess the phone brands by looking at the emoticons

Guess the phone brands:

1.❌🔑👍.

2.✋✋📱

3.💯❌💦👶 

4.⏪🐯🐯🐯🐯.

5.🎼Ⓜ🎤.

6.💯❌.

7.👀📞.

8.🚗🔥

9.⚫🍓.

10.👀🎾 

11.🎤😭💪❌

12.#⃣☕👀

13.📐⛽

Itz a brain game.... Find it

Hint 7.iPhone

Answer

1 nokia

8 karbon

2 tataindicom

5 samsung

9blackberry

13 LG

12 HTC

10 iball

11 micromax

7iphone

6 sony 

5samsung

3 song erricson

4 reliance

Easy solutions for complicated problems

Some years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco. 

Mensa, is an international organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher.

Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local cafe. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.

How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly -- this was a job for Mensa minds.

The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.

They then called the waitress over, ready to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker"

But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted & said.

"Oh -- sorry about that."  

She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them. 

There was dead silence at the Mensa table.

💡💡💡💡💡

For most of the problems there are simple solutions but it is our “Brilliant” minds that complicate every simple solution. Take a relook at life, you will find non issues mostly! And wherever there are issues there will be easy solutions.

Balakrishna jokes

Joke-1

SIR: Nuvvu em kaavalukuntunav?

STUDENT: Nenu MBBS chadivi, Police Ayyi,Manchi software company lo, lawyerga work chesi pedda pedda building lu kattukuntu collector ga job chesukunta

SIR: orey nijam chepu ra nuvu balakrishna fan kada..,?? 

Joke-2

Balayya: Nenu kuda jagan la odarpu yatra cheddam anukuntunnara

Zunior N: enduku babai?

Balayya: mana cinemalu choosi chanipoyina varikosam

Zunior N: nuvu keka babai 

Joke-3

Balaya: Doctor, this Bucket has got a hole. Can you please repair it?

Doctor: Stupid. you knw who iam?

Balaya: Of course I heard that you are a famous “Plastic Surgeon” 

Joke-4

Jr N: Babai naa celllo charging ledu,nee cell ivvu

Balayya: Naa cell full charginglo undi bluetooth on chey pampistaaaa

Jr N: wat a great idea babai!!!!!!! 

Joke-5

Jr N: Enti babay kotta kurchi ekkadidi?

Balayya: Adem ledura ninna interview ki vellin’te take your seat annaaru. Andike pattukochchaaaaaa. 

Joke-6

balayya goes to the programme “koun banega karod pathi”. the conversation between amitabachchan and balayya.

Amitab: In which state godavari flows?

Balayya: Liquid State (some one is clapped amitab is shocked ) (balayya looked behind) Jr N: Babai super!!!

Joke-7

American: First we land on moon

Russian: First we land on jupitor

Balayya from India: Said first we land on sun

America: How is it possible itso hot

Balayya: Ore swamy memu night land ayyamura 

Joke-8

Balayya’s 60th B’day

NTR – Cake meeda BULB endhuku petav babai?

Balayya – 60 Candels pettadam kastam kada andhukani, 60 wats bulb pettanu..!

NTR – Nuvvu keka babai 

Joke-9

Movie Dialogues about Balayya

Pokiri: Evadi cinima chusthe, dimma dirigi mind block avuthundo vaade ballayy

Aadi: Ammathodu addanga narukkunta Avadikanna Balayya theliyaka pothey? 

Joke-10

BALLAYA KI PELLI PELLI CHUPULU………….

Balayya – Entha varaku chadivavu

Ammayi: B.A

Balayya – chadivinave 2 mukkalu avi kuda malla reverse lona….!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-11

Balayya – “batta tala” vunte chala goppa vallu avtaranta nijamena???

Lecturer – “Cheviti na kodaka ‘batta tala’ kadu ra ‘pattudala’ 

Joke-12

Once a Donkey Kicked Balayya & Ran away.

Balayya started chasing & found a zebra & started beating by saying

“dress maruste kanipettalena !!!!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-13

Aghora tells ballaya abt magadheera

“vadu mande agni golam la kanipistadu”

Balayya – Mari Tuesday ela untadu?

AGHORA: Inko 400 years ayna nuv marav ra baaliga 

Joke-14

Jr.NTR – Adenti babai pinni pregnant kada mari delivari ki hospital kakunda pizza shop ki enduku teeskellav?

Balayya – Aare pizza shop lo delivery free anta ra….!!!!!!! 

Joke-15

Balayya – Arey na lover ki msg pampali ra.

Jr NTR – BABAI NEN PAMPISTA na mobile ivu.

Balayya – Aare jagrata hand writing teda rakunda chudu..!!! 

Joke-16

Ballaya calling 2 customer care, a girl received the call

Balayya – hello evaru?

Girl – I am sita

Balayya – Ayyo devuda..idhi AYODHYA ki vellinda!! Sorry sitamma !!!!! 

Joke-17

Jr NTR – Babai 4 x 3 entha ????

Balayya – Adhi kooda teliyadanu kunnava 4 x 3 = 12 ra.

Jr NTR – Aithe 3 x 4 entha ???

Balayya – abbaa question reverse ga adigithe answer cheppa lenani anukunnava ??? 3 x 4 = 21 

Joke-18

Yamudu – I’m Going to Take ur life . Tell ur last wish

Balayya – pls come and watch my film : simha

Yamudu – Rascal.. Nenu neeku Sketch veste, nuvvu naaku sketch vesthava ??? 

Joke-19

Balayya Proposes her college mate : Rani I LOVE YOU!!

RANI – Poyi Principal ki cheptha.

Balayya – Principal ki already pelli ayipoyindha gaaa..

Joke-20

Once Balayya & Jr.NTR will go to shop for re-charging mobile with top up card

Shop Keeper – 30 Rs. Card re-charge chesukunte 26 Rs talk time vasthundhi.

Balayya – aithe migatha 4 Rs. Ki Biscuits ivvu

Jr NTR – Babai. Cream biscuits ivvamani cheppu 

Joke-21

Once there was an offer in a shop “Take anything for Rs.1000 and get 1 saree free”..

Balayya goes into the shop takes change for Rs.1000 and asks for Free saree 

Joke-22

Balayya to Jr NTR – Velli chetlaki(Tree) ki nilu pattu

Jr NTR – It’s already raining.

Balayya – So what take an umbrella and go.

Jr NTR – Nuvu Keka babai 

Joke-23

Balayya – I’ll never marry in my life and I’ll give same advice to my children also 

Joke-24

Laxmi pranitha asked Jr NTR what sort of books you like

Jr NTR – Check books. 

Joke-25

Ballaya giving exam while standing at the door.

Jr NTR – Babai Why are you standing at the door?

Balayya – Abbai, I am giving entrance test 

Joke-26

Jr NTR – Babai nenu ivala Rs 1000/- odipoyanu

Balayya – Ela abbai

Jr NTR – Morning cricket match lo Rs 500/- bet kattanu, INDIA Match odipoyindhi

Balayya – Abbai 500 ee kada, maari migitha 500

Jr NTR – Night high lights mida 500 petta babai, malli odipoyindhi 

Joke-27

Balayya participated in cycle race..Baaga thokkadu kani Odipoyadu

Jr NTR – Enduku odipoyawu babai

Balayya – Evado cycle ki stand vesadu ra.. 

Joke-28

BREAKING NEWS

ISRO DOES NOT EXISTS ANYMORE…..!!

Balayya – PURCHASED ALL THE ROCKETS FOR DIWALI. CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-29

Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:

THINK WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF BALAYYA WOULD HAVE BORN 150 YEARS AGO..?????

Jr NTR – - BRITISH WOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR INDEPENDANCE… 

Joke-30

Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:

THE PYRAMIDS IN EGYPT ARE ACTUALLY what?

Jr NTR – - Thet are Babai PRIMARY SCHOOL CRAFT PROJECTS!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-31

DEFINITION OF SOLAR ECLIPSE:

WHEN BALAYYA STARES AT SUN WITH ANGER, SUN HIDES BEHIND THE MOON.

THIS GREATEST PHENOMENA IS CALLED SOLAR ECLIPSE………!!!!! 

Joke-32

Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:

Do you know what Ghajini never forgets?

Jr NTR – - GHAJINI never forgets BALAYYA name!!!! Ghajini has a tatto with Babai name on his soul 

Joke-33

Balayyas next project.

Titanic in Telugu .

Climax revised.

Both survive. Balayya swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and Titanic in the other. 

Joke-34

THE SARDARJIS ASSOCIATION HAS DECIDED TO DONATE ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS TO BALAYYA AS A TOKEN OF THANKS FOR SHIFTING PEOPLES FOCUS AWAY FROM THEM!!!!! :p 

Joke-35

Balayya gets an message on his cell:

kannayya your son is dead

Balayya jumps from the 50th floor

at 45th floor he remembers that he did not have a son

at 23rd floor he remmebers that he is not married

at 3rd floor “shit my name is not kannayya it is Balayya” 

Joke-36 

Joke-36

Jr NTR asked Balayya do you know MS Office?

Balayya – Give me the address, i will GO 

Joke-37

Ballaya buy coffee for Jr NTR

Ballaya says… Drink quickly..

Jr NTR – Enduku babai

Balayya – says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10 

Joke-38

American – Do any great man born your village??

Balayya – No only small babies born here. 

Joke-39

Once Balayya attended an Interview.

Interviewer – Give me the opposite words.

Balayya – Ok

Interviewer – Made in India

Balayya – Destroyed in Pakistan

Interviewer – Good Keep it Up

Balayya – Bad Put it Down

Interviewer – Maxi Mum

Balayya – Mini Dad

Interviewer – Enough! Take your Seat

Balayya – Insufficient! Don’t take my seat

Interviewer – Idiot! Take your seat

Balayya – Clever! Don’t take my seat

Interviewer – I say you get out!

Balayya – You didn’t say I come in

Interviewer – I reject you!

Balayya – You appoint me 

Joke-40

Jr.Ntr&balaya walking on the road.

They saw 1000Rs note on the road.

Jr NTR – Manam fifty fifty theesukundam babai.

Balayya – Migilina 900 em chedam ra 

Joke-41

Balakrishna went to cloth market

Balayya – Manchi cloth chupinchandi..

Salesman – plane lo chupinch mantara….

Balayya – Nee yabba plane lo kadu ra ikkade chupinchu… 

Joke-42

Interviewer – Me birth place ekkda…?

Balayya – Tiruvnannthapuram….

Interviewer – Tell me the spelling…?

Balayya – Indaka joke chesa, nenu GOA lo puttanu… 

Joke-43

NTR – Babai ratri mobile charging petti padukoku..

Balayya – : Endukura …?

NTR – Battery blast avutundanta…

Balayya – Telusura bacha anduke nenu Battery teesi charging Pettanu… 

Joke-44

NTR – Adenti Babai Tablet sides cut chesi vesukuntunnavu…?

Balayya – Side effects rakunda untayani..

NTR – Rakhi Bagundi evaru kattaru babai…?

Balayya – Abundance na Lovertho nene kattiinchukunna… 

Joke-45

“SPIDER MAN” remaking BALAIAH and the Title will be.

“SEEMALO SALEPURUGU”

CAPTION: Veedu paakaledu yem Peekaledu

Story - Give without expecting anything in Return

Worth Reading...

Once Krishna and Arjuna were walking towards a village. Arjuna was pestering Krishna, asking him why Karna should be considered an unparallelled Donor & not him ?

Krishna, turned two mountains into gold. 

Then said,  "Arjuna, distribute these two gold mountains among villagers, but you must donate every bit of it ". 

Arjuna went into the village, and proclaimed he was going to donate gold to every villager, and asked them to gather near the mountain. The villagers sang his praises and Arjuna walked towards the mountains with a huffed up chest. 

For two days and two nights Arjuna shovelled gold from the mountain and donated to each villager. The mountains did not diminish in the slightest.

Most villagers came back and stood in queue within minutes. Now Arjuna was exhausted, but not ready to let go of his  Ego, told Krishna he couldn't go on any longer without rest. 

Then Krishna called Karna and told him to donate every bit of the two gold mountains.

Karna called the  villagers,  and said "Those two Gold mountains are yours. " and walked away.

Arjuna sat dumbfounded. Why hadn't this thought occurred to him? 

Krishna smiled mischievously and told him "Arjuna, subconsciously, you were attracted to the gold, you regretfully gave it away to each villager, giving them what you thought was a generous amount. Thus the size of your donation to each villager depended only on your imagination. 

Karna holds no such reservations. Look at him walking away after giving away a fortune, he doesn't expect people to sing his praises, he doesn't even care if people talk good or bad about him behind his back. That is the sign of a man already on the path of enlightenment".

Giving with an Expectation of a Return in the form of a Compliment or Thanks is not a Gift, then it becomes a Trade. 

" Give without expecting anything in Return."

Givers Gain 👌