Saturday, May 9, 2015

Balakrishna jokes

Joke-1
SIR: Nuvvu em kaavalukuntunav?
STUDENT: Nenu MBBS chadivi, Police Ayyi,Manchi software company lo, lawyerga work chesi pedda pedda building lu kattukuntu collector ga job chesukunta
SIR: orey nijam chepu ra nuvu balakrishna fan kada..,?? 

Joke-2
Balayya: Nenu kuda jagan la odarpu yatra cheddam anukuntunnara
Zunior N: enduku babai?
Balayya: mana cinemalu choosi chanipoyina varikosam
Zunior N: nuvu keka babai 

Joke-3
Balaya: Doctor, this Bucket has got a hole. Can you please repair it?
Doctor: Stupid. you knw who iam?
Balaya: Of course I heard that you are a famous “Plastic Surgeon” 

Joke-4
Jr N: Babai naa celllo charging ledu,nee cell ivvu
Balayya: Naa cell full charginglo undi bluetooth on chey pampistaaaa
Jr N: wat a great idea babai!!!!!!! 

Joke-5
Jr N: Enti babay kotta kurchi ekkadidi?
Balayya: Adem ledura ninna interview ki vellin’te take your seat annaaru. Andike pattukochchaaaaaa. 

Joke-6
balayya goes to the programme “koun banega karod pathi”. the conversation between amitabachchan and balayya.
Amitab: In which state godavari flows?
Balayya: Liquid State (some one is clapped amitab is shocked ) (balayya looked behind) Jr N: Babai super!!!

Joke-7
American: First we land on moon
Russian: First we land on jupitor
Balayya from India: Said first we land on sun
America: How is it possible itso hot
Balayya: Ore swamy memu night land ayyamura 

Joke-8
Balayya’s 60th B’day
NTR – Cake meeda BULB endhuku petav babai?
Balayya – 60 Candels pettadam kastam kada andhukani, 60 wats bulb pettanu..!
NTR – Nuvvu keka babai 

Joke-9
Movie Dialogues about Balayya
Pokiri: Evadi cinima chusthe, dimma dirigi mind block avuthundo vaade ballayy
Aadi: Ammathodu addanga narukkunta Avadikanna Balayya theliyaka pothey? 

Joke-10
BALLAYA KI PELLI PELLI CHUPULU………….
Balayya – Entha varaku chadivavu
Ammayi: B.A
Balayya – chadivinave 2 mukkalu avi kuda malla reverse lona….!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-11
Balayya – “batta tala” vunte chala goppa vallu avtaranta nijamena???
Lecturer – “Cheviti na kodaka ‘batta tala’ kadu ra ‘pattudala’ 

Joke-12
Once a Donkey Kicked Balayya & Ran away.
Balayya started chasing & found a zebra & started beating by saying
“dress maruste kanipettalena !!!!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-13
Aghora tells ballaya abt magadheera
“vadu mande agni golam la kanipistadu”
Balayya – Mari Tuesday ela untadu?
AGHORA: Inko 400 years ayna nuv marav ra baaliga 

Joke-14
Jr.NTR – Adenti babai pinni pregnant kada mari delivari ki hospital kakunda pizza shop ki enduku teeskellav?
Balayya – Aare pizza shop lo delivery free anta ra….!!!!!!! 

Joke-15
Balayya – Arey na lover ki msg pampali ra.
Jr NTR – BABAI NEN PAMPISTA na mobile ivu.
Balayya – Aare jagrata hand writing teda rakunda chudu..!!! 

Joke-16
Ballaya calling 2 customer care, a girl received the call
Balayya – hello evaru?
Girl – I am sita
Balayya – Ayyo devuda..idhi AYODHYA ki vellinda!! Sorry sitamma !!!!! 

Joke-17
Jr NTR – Babai 4 x 3 entha ????
Balayya – Adhi kooda teliyadanu kunnava 4 x 3 = 12 ra.
Jr NTR – Aithe 3 x 4 entha ???
Balayya – abbaa question reverse ga adigithe answer cheppa lenani anukunnava ??? 3 x 4 = 21 

Joke-18
Yamudu – I’m Going to Take ur life . Tell ur last wish
Balayya – pls come and watch my film : simha
Yamudu – Rascal.. Nenu neeku Sketch veste, nuvvu naaku sketch vesthava ??? 

Joke-19
Balayya Proposes her college mate : Rani I LOVE YOU!!
RANI – Poyi Principal ki cheptha.
Balayya – Principal ki already pelli ayipoyindha gaaa..

Joke-20
Once Balayya & Jr.NTR will go to shop for re-charging mobile with top up card
Shop Keeper – 30 Rs. Card re-charge chesukunte 26 Rs talk time vasthundhi.
Balayya – aithe migatha 4 Rs. Ki Biscuits ivvu
Jr NTR – Babai. Cream biscuits ivvamani cheppu 

Joke-21
Once there was an offer in a shop “Take anything for Rs.1000 and get 1 saree free”..
Balayya goes into the shop takes change for Rs.1000 and asks for Free saree 

Joke-22
Balayya to Jr NTR – Velli chetlaki(Tree) ki nilu pattu
Jr NTR – It’s already raining.
Balayya – So what take an umbrella and go.
Jr NTR – Nuvu Keka babai 

Joke-23
Balayya – I’ll never marry in my life and I’ll give same advice to my children also 

Joke-24
Laxmi pranitha asked Jr NTR what sort of books you like
Jr NTR – Check books. 

Joke-25
Ballaya giving exam while standing at the door.
Jr NTR – Babai Why are you standing at the door?
Balayya – Abbai, I am giving entrance test 

Joke-26
Jr NTR – Babai nenu ivala Rs 1000/- odipoyanu
Balayya – Ela abbai
Jr NTR – Morning cricket match lo Rs 500/- bet kattanu, INDIA Match odipoyindhi
Balayya – Abbai 500 ee kada, maari migitha 500
Jr NTR – Night high lights mida 500 petta babai, malli odipoyindhi 

Joke-27
Balayya participated in cycle race..Baaga thokkadu kani Odipoyadu
Jr NTR – Enduku odipoyawu babai
Balayya – Evado cycle ki stand vesadu ra.. 

Joke-28
BREAKING NEWS
ISRO DOES NOT EXISTS ANYMORE…..!!
Balayya – PURCHASED ALL THE ROCKETS FOR DIWALI. CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-29
Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:
THINK WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF BALAYYA WOULD HAVE BORN 150 YEARS AGO..?????
Jr NTR – - BRITISH WOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR INDEPENDANCE… 

Joke-30
Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:
THE PYRAMIDS IN EGYPT ARE ACTUALLY what?
Jr NTR – - Thet are Babai PRIMARY SCHOOL CRAFT PROJECTS!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Joke-31
DEFINITION OF SOLAR ECLIPSE:
WHEN BALAYYA STARES AT SUN WITH ANGER, SUN HIDES BEHIND THE MOON.
THIS GREATEST PHENOMENA IS CALLED SOLAR ECLIPSE………!!!!! 

Joke-32
Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:
Do you know what Ghajini never forgets?
Jr NTR – - GHAJINI never forgets BALAYYA name!!!! Ghajini has a tatto with Babai name on his soul 

Joke-33
Balayyas next project.
Titanic in Telugu .
Climax revised.
Both survive. Balayya swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and Titanic in the other. 

Joke-34
THE SARDARJIS ASSOCIATION HAS DECIDED TO DONATE ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS TO BALAYYA AS A TOKEN OF THANKS FOR SHIFTING PEOPLES FOCUS AWAY FROM THEM!!!!! :p 

Joke-35
Balayya gets an message on his cell:
kannayya your son is dead
Balayya jumps from the 50th floor
at 45th floor he remembers that he did not have a son
at 23rd floor he remmebers that he is not married
at 3rd floor “shit my name is not kannayya it is Balayya” 

Joke-36 

Joke-36
Jr NTR asked Balayya do you know MS Office?
Balayya – Give me the address, i will GO 

Joke-37
Ballaya buy coffee for Jr NTR
Ballaya says… Drink quickly..
Jr NTR – Enduku babai
Balayya – says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10 

Joke-38
American – Do any great man born your village??
Balayya – No only small babies born here. 

Joke-39
Once Balayya attended an Interview.
Interviewer – Give me the opposite words.
Balayya – Ok
Interviewer – Made in India
Balayya – Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer – Good Keep it Up
Balayya – Bad Put it Down
Interviewer – Maxi Mum
Balayya – Mini Dad
Interviewer – Enough! Take your Seat
Balayya – Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer – Idiot! Take your seat
Balayya – Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer – I say you get out!
Balayya – You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer – I reject you!
Balayya – You appoint me 

Joke-40
Jr.Ntr&balaya walking on the road.
They saw 1000Rs note on the road.
Jr NTR – Manam fifty fifty theesukundam babai.
Balayya – Migilina 900 em chedam ra 

Joke-41
Balakrishna went to cloth market
Balayya – Manchi cloth chupinchandi..
Salesman – plane lo chupinch mantara….
Balayya – Nee yabba plane lo kadu ra ikkade chupinchu… 

Joke-42
Interviewer – Me birth place ekkda…?
Balayya – Tiruvnannthapuram….
Interviewer – Tell me the spelling…?
Balayya – Indaka joke chesa, nenu GOA lo puttanu… 

Joke-43
NTR – Babai ratri mobile charging petti padukoku..
Balayya – : Endukura …?
NTR – Battery blast avutundanta…
Balayya – Telusura bacha anduke nenu Battery teesi charging Pettanu… 

Joke-44
NTR – Adenti Babai Tablet sides cut chesi vesukuntunnavu…?
Balayya – Side effects rakunda untayani..
NTR – Rakhi Bagundi evaru kattaru babai…?
Balayya – Abundance na Lovertho nene kattiinchukunna… 

Joke-45
“SPIDER MAN” remaking BALAIAH and the Title will be.
“SEEMALO SALEPURUGU”
CAPTION: Veedu paakaledu yem Peekaledu

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